The Great Poop Mystery: What Your Stool Is Secretly Telling You

Because your bowel movements are basically your body’s gossip column.

We need to talk about your poop.
Not in a “haha you farted” kind of way.
In a “this is the most underused diagnostic tool you have” kind of way.

Because your poop?
It’s not just waste.
It’s a message.
From your gut, your liver, your microbes — even your nervous system.

And once you learn how to read it, it’ll tell you exactly what’s going on inside you.
No stool test (yet), no guesswork — just solid (pun intended) clues.

So here it is: your cheat sheet for decoding your daily deposits.

💩 Poop 101: What You’re Looking For

Let’s break it down like a functional medicine detective with a really good sense of humor.

🚽 1. Shape & Consistency: The Bristol Stool Chart in Real Life

Types 1–2: Rabbit pellets / dry logs
→ You’re constipated. And probably dehydrated, stressed, or lacking bile + motility.
⛑ Support tip: Magnesium citrate, gentle bitters, more hydration + cooked veg.

Types 3–4: Smooth, soft, easy to pass
→ The golden standard. You love to see it.

Types 5–6: Soft blobs or fluffy edges
→ Borderline loose. Could be food sensitivity, low digestive enzymes, or a mild case of "I ate way too fast."

Type 7: Fully liquid or explosive
→ Not cute. Think pathogens, inflammation, gut infection, or bile acid dumping.

🎯 2. Color: A Rainbow of Digestive Clues

Brown: Normal. Thank you for your service.

Pale or clay-colored:
→ Bile flow may be impaired (think sluggish liver or gallbladder).
Time to show your liver some love.

Yellow/greasy or shiny:
→ Fat malabsorption alert. Could be low bile, pancreatic enzyme issues, or SIBO.
Also often comes with… lovely floating logs.

Green:
→ Either you ate a lot of spinach OR your poop is moving too fast through your colon. Sometimes linked to stress or mild infection.

Black (without iron supplements) or red (without beets):
→ Possible bleeding. Get that checked out — stat.

🐛 3. Odor: Smell Isn’t Just Smell

Yes, all poop smells. But if it’s putrid, sour, or chemical-y, that’s different.

→ Think: dysbiosis, parasites, or fermentation from SIBO.
If it smells like you ate roadkill and you didn’t? Something’s off.

🦠 4. Floaters vs. Sinkers

Floating poop:
→ Often means fat is not being broken down (hello, bile and enzyme issues).
Sometimes linked to low stomach acid or infections.

Sinking logs:
→ Typically a good sign — denser, well-formed, better digestion.

Floating and shiny?
→ Fat is literally leaking through. Time to support digestion and bile flow.

🧵 5. Bonus Clues: Weird Things You Might See

• Undigested food: Could be poor chewing, low enzymes, or gut inflammation

• White mucus: Often signals gut lining irritation or infection

• Stringy stuff or sesame seed-like bits: Could be parasite-related (not always, but don’t ignore it)

• Foam or bubbles: Fermentation → SIBO or yeast overgrowth may be lurking

🚽 So… What Now?

Poop tells the story — but you’ve got to zoom out.

Are you chewing well?
Stressed AF?
Eating too much raw food?
On meds that mess with bile?
Skipping meals and living on snacks?

Your stool is the symptom, not the root.

💡 The takeaway:

If your poop’s off, something deeper is asking for attention:

Your Galbladder.
Your liver.
Your stomach acid.
Your gut bugs.
Your stress levels.
Your nervous system.

So the next time you go, don’t just flush and forget.
Observe. Learn. Adjust.

(And maybe text a friend about it. Poop talk is the new love language.)

Sending you smooth poops and good vibes,
Ksenia 💩✨